Thursday, February 4, 2010

Artist Fail

My dad told my over winter break that he always thought of me as an artist. I never considered that ever being a word that would ever be said regarding me. Unless it was a joke, of course. Anyway, that it got me thinking a little bit about artists. Which got me thinking about people.

It's interesting how people decide to live and interpret their lives in their own ways. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's infuriating, most times it's confusion. But it's never wrong, yet I'll still argue that it is. I have my morals, they're no one else's but my own.

As far as everyone else goes, it doesn't really matter cause everyone else is going to anchor themselves to whatever they want, unless they have swayed from one set morality or another. Dumb people. But don't make fun of that person cause that person was me.

It's hard trying to figure out who to handle everyone being "right", including yourself. It's a mindblowing paradox to emotionally handle. I usually ended up swinging to self-righteousness, I know that, but I don't know a single person who hasn't done it either. People are very forgetful.

People make conscious decisions every day to be the way they want to be at that moment, people disagree with people because of individualism and that's okay. My mind has liberty and freedom. But I also read the news and know what's going on every day in this world filled with war, genocide, oppression and other traumas of humanity. And every day I feel oppressed by my own granted freedom to live the way I want at my own risk, as well as the risks of others. I've to split in two to console myself with the decisions I make every moment. That's what everyone does, but we all have our different values we anchor to.

People, or life just happens and is continually morphing along some sort of linear worm into every moment that will ever be ahead of us. We only know life in exact moments and that's all we'll ever know. There's nowhere to anchor.

It's nice to know that there's nothing you could know. What are people then? Don't ask me, ask an artist.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

A lie is a lie is a lie

A lie is a lie is a lie. And as any lie, my lie about writing regularly is a lie like all the other lies about writing regularly. Sorry you guys. I was doing some fall semester recovery over the break and then I started school and got busy. The story goes, but really I'd been thinking about blogging it up soon.

Anyway, I've been writing a little bit so I've been busy with that in my free time. Haven't gotten very far, but I have a neat little idea and I just wanna see how it goes.

Being back in Austin has been pretty nice. Good times so far and my classes are incredibly interesting. With the exception of nutrition cause it's just not my thing. Alright, well back to Austin.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Carless Damsel in Distress

"Boyish, softy men all the rage"

I'm gonna keep this blog short and sweet since my last blog was apparently a never ending nightmare of words. This article is just wrong on so many levels and I probably don't even notice them all. The research, although maybe somewhat true, is either ignorant of the changes that can occur in social attitudes or is misrepresented in the article*. But to make it interesting I'll assume the former. Also, I know the writer is a humor columnist, but I don't really think the humor is all that innocent.

Things wrong with this article.

1. Referring to "softie" men in a condescending light.
The issue? Gender roles and it's a reflection of the condescending way men view women.

2. Deeming the sole reason the contraceptive pill.
The issue? That women are lead by their troublesome mood swings and hormones. Cause you know women are bitches because of they're either having that time of the month, about to have that time of the month, or are not having that time of the month. Apparently, women can't actually think. They just feel and react. Wars, economic breakdown, political corruption, the progress of women's rights, and tragedies don't affect social attitudes.*

3. The "sissification" of men and the attraction women have to them as being bad.
The issue? Refer to #1. Also, it's perfectly fine for someone to feel confused, but it isn't until we read that he concludes that it's a bad decision that not all men are "tough guys" anymore. Why is that? Well this leads to #4.

4. The damsel in distress without a car or man.
The issue? Women can't possibly learn how to fix a car. Women just can't survive because they can't learn how to do "man" things or they shouldn't cause this guy says that men should be "men". This writer believes he has the idea of what a man should be.

This guy has our roles pretty figured out. I wish he were being sarcastic though because now I have to acknowledge the existence of another idiot.

You know, on the flip side, women aren't "women" anymore either. The majority of my girlfriends don't pay very much attention to sewing, cooking, ironing, cleaning, or entertaining like they used to in the "good ole days". Maybe women don't seek this "tough guy" anymore. Doesn't mean they don't like a "tough guy" at all, but they just don't feel as pressured to seek these men anymore. And maybe, in turn, men don't feel pressured to be this "tough guy" anymore. Maybe people are starting to be themselves more. If so, then I think it's great.

OH. And sorry I lied to you. This wasn't short and sweet at all.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Thoughts on the End of the First Decade of 2000


"'Forced labor in Latin America is closely linked to patterns of inequality and discrimination, especially against indigenous peoples.'

About 80 percent of forced laborers work for private companies. The remaining 20 percent work for state enterprises such as are found in China, North Korea and Myanmar, she said.

'Many of them make the goods and products that we buy,' Ewart-James said."

Exploitation maintains our way of life. Lowest cost, highest profit. I'll think about this for a few seconds and then settle the thought of fighting for human rights with apathetic reluctance. And I wouldn't necessarily be wrong to do so either. What can be done anyway? Revolution? Who knows what that is anymore? There are no more free lands to exercise new free thoughts. There is no room for revolution. So what now?

For now, the capitalist economy will continue to exploit and abandon the oppressed and mask it as a complication of expenditures. It'll continue to pick and choose the laws it will showcase and the laws it will enforce. It'll continue to disillusion us into believing we have freedom when everyone knows that our popular votes are babysat by an electoral college making sure we make the right decision for those wallets of a few. It'll continue to deceive us into thinking we are still trying to do the right thing. It'll continue to lull us into a trance and we'll forget what it was we wanted.

I'll argue for human rights, but it's as far as I'll go. I'm not fighting. I'm not moving anywhere and giving up the luxuries of my friends and family. The relationships that give my life meaning and are too important for me. So leave me out of it. I wouldn't be necessarily wrong to do so. It's hard to believe it's true.


All this talk recently about the end of the decade has me wondering a lot about this generation. Huge amounts of technology dependence this decade. Natural tragedies. War. Economic breakdown. Global warming on the rise. TIME magazine refers to it as "The Decade from Hell". Not a surprise considering that out of this decade came the "emo", or "emotional", boom.

Every decade is followed by a stereotype of the attitude of that certain decade which completely decontextualizes the events of that decade. The over romanticized hippie of the 60s is the first example that comes to mind. I'm going to have a really hard time accepting "emo" as the stereotype of the 00s. Very hard to live with the fear of future generations haunting me with deep seated anger and suicide threats. And today we see the beginning of the "hipster" boom. I see where it's coming from. Still some rebellion, but trying to take an active part in a world that maybe doesn't seem so doomed anymore. The overtaking pop culture is starting to participate in the world again, but still maintaining a social distance. Still feeling the burn of the 00s I suppose. Don't know where that'll go.

But I'm personally still feeling a lot of that modern guilt of the 00s. Everything going wrong and knowing that your way of life is the reason for the problems in the world. Beck describes this feeling as "Don't know what I've done but I feel ashamed". We've created a dependence on exploiting "third world" people. The events we perceive as opportunities, the social expectations for relationships and behavior, the values that we view as the dominant and correct values for the world are some of the main reasons for the deterioration of the 00s on all fronts. And we don't know how to acknowledge it, accept it, or change it.

We are too proud and for that we have become stagnant. We have been refusing to socially progress being too satisfied with our egos with our "invention" of democracy and capitalism. In essence, we believe we've invented opportunity. We have been disillusioned, possibly due to years of government manipulation, into thinking that there is nothing better than "the land of the free and the home of the brave", but ask the common person on the street he or she will tell you that they are unhappy with this system. We ask for change and offer no solutions. I'm not suggesting political overthrow. But I think it's possible that we could regain our dignity as a society. Cause how does change happen in today's world? And what's revolution, anyway? I think I'll just get back to work.

Monday, November 30, 2009

A sign of hope?

It's the follow up blog after my admittance-to-failure blog!

So it's the final week of school and I'm ready to go home. Again. I went home for Thanksgiving and spend some time with my mom, dad, and friends. It's always nice going home during the holidays when all (or just a large amount) my friends are back home too. I don't really have a large circle of friends in Austin, so going back home is always nice because I have a group of friends ready to receive me.

I usually say I don't have the time or interest for new friends. Well, that's actually very true. But more than that I think it's cause I'm uncomfortable around people because I don't feel like I'm on the same page with the majority of the people that I meet. In these situations, I usually feel like one person is going to end up offending the other. So there's no reason to invest myself. Every now and then though I'll meet someone who I don't mind telling them everything about myself and those are the friends who are beyond the superficial surface of friends.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is cause I've been feeling pretty lonely the past few months. For several reasons, but mostly because of the lack of girl friends in my life. Most of my friends are guys and although it isn't a bad thing I would love to have a few female comrades here in Austin. I made a small effort this semester to make that possible, but I think it's safe to call this semester an absolute failure.

So next semester I will have at least one more girl friend! Call it my New Year's Resolution. Along with the traditional I'm-gonna-quit-biting-my-nails resolution -I have terribly low expectations for the latter. Hopefully my girl friend goal won't have a follow up admittance-to-failure blog.


So December 5th, Home Slice is having a pizza eating competition. The winner gets free pizza for a year. I would immediately jump into it if it weren't for the fact that I'm going to the beach in a few weeks. Hmmm. Time to think.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving '09 and the Lies

So first about Thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day to all! My sister, Malsi, is missing from the table today cause she's still in Indiana. Kind of a bummer, but s'ok. She'll be back and enjoying leftovers soon.

Alright, about the lies. I know I said I was actually going to keep up with this blog... and we all know that didn't happen. I should have never said I was going to keep up with it. I KNEW I was lying. I didn't even believe myself when I wrote that entry, but so many self-help books tell you to lie to yourself until you believe it and it's true so I really can't be held accountable. I've been brainwashed with books such as "Seven Habits of Highly Effective ______", "Who Moved My Cheese?", and so forth. My dad picked out some winners for Malsi and me.

Okay back to the Thanksgiving action. Hope you're all having a great day.

Monday, August 17, 2009

In Good Company

A lot has happened since my last blog, but I can't remember anything that doesn't have to do with my current living situation, or lack thereof.

I'm not going to go into it, but long story short my lease with Town Lake Apartments got severely botched and I now don't have a place to live. Details are being kept low profile. School starts next Wednesday so I've been frantically searching for any sort of living arrangement. Apartments, efficiencies, needed roommates on Craigslist, even people who are willing to trade cheap rent for my housekeeping services. It hasn't been a very hopeful search with school starting in just a week, but I'm keeping to it.

What really bugs me about this whole thing is my forced imposition. I don't know how long it's going to take to find a decently priced place to live, but so far it looks like I'm going to be bumming on couches for a little while. My friends have been real helpful about my situation and I appreciate all their help, but I just don't want to be anyone's couch bum.

During the first two excruciatingly rough days of this ordeal I found a dead bird at my front door.

If this is a sign it's not a good one.

In other news, I played Wii for the first time a few days ago. Not too bad. I got to play some Wii Sports and some Mario Kart which still remains as one of the best games ever created. Also, my mom made paella yesterday for my dad's birthday (it was a belated celebration). That is quite a news story in itself. It's that good.

In conclusion.
I'm homeless in Austin, but at least I'm in good company.